see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize