I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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