I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
