Non-Jews are for practice
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
