I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
If I die, sorry about rent.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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