Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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