Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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