Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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