you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
