I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize