did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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