I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
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After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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