Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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