cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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