ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
