Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
