The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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