i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
