Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
