So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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