we have officially lost it.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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