i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
