i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
