No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
