shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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