I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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