Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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