he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I intend to get homeless drunk
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
