You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
