just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
wow bdsm is so cute
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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