I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
