I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
