the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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