he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
