clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
