i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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