Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize