I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
