hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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