yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
