i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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