I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
