there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
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