i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
