You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
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She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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