It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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