dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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