The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize