Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
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