you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
