No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
