That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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