So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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