Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(314): View more from Missouri

i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.

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(314): i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out. http://tfl.nu/zite

Replies (19) Good night (4667) Bad night (1190)
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(504): View more from Louisiana

You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning

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(504): You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning http://tfl.nu/qlbe

Replies (40) Good night (5300) Bad night (1793)
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?

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(902): is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with? http://tfl.nu/yzo8

Replies (56) Good night (1089) Bad night (5857)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.

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(304): it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears. http://tfl.nu/ziqy

Replies (31) Good night (8517) Bad night (1709)
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(562): View more from California

I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.

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(562): I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight. http://tfl.nu/kfwj

Replies (9) Good night (5189) Bad night (929)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.

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(832): My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking. http://tfl.nu/1gc1

Replies (4) Good night (2114) Bad night (680)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better

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(479): I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better http://tfl.nu/bldt

Replies (7) Good night (2495) Bad night (671)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.

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(423): All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited. http://tfl.nu/itw0

Replies (8) Good night (2975) Bad night (900)
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(914): View more from New York

I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day

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(914): I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day http://tfl.nu/8r1c

Replies (7) Good night (2522) Bad night (1333)
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(620): View more from Kansas

I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?

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(620): I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get? http://tfl.nu/ju2n

Replies (7) Good night (506) Bad night (1160)
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(563): View more from Iowa

You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.

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(563): You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar. http://tfl.nu/9hcy

Replies (7) Good night (2125) Bad night (693)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again

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(704): I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again http://tfl.nu/6zh5

Replies (4) Good night (952) Bad night (523)
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(818): View more from California

I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving

(1-818): View more from California

At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.

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(818): I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving (1-818): At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it. http://tfl.nu/g80b

Replies (1) Good night (819) Bad night (344)
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(540): View more from Virginia

By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.

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(540): By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill. http://tfl.nu/ghyy

Replies (0) Good night (661) Bad night (293)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...

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(603): I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked... http://tfl.nu/22n2

Replies (4) Good night (346) Bad night (680)

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