Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
