it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I want to be your penis for a week.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
