Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....