Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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