she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
