Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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