I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
she peed on how many people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize