I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
