It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
third nipple confirmed
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
