I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
