Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
