dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
