READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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